This was such an amazing article to read. Thank you for your vulnerability. I have a young family as well.
The formula: more motion = solutions rings so true in my life. It’s the response that shows up when I’m struggling. Doing more doesn’t always mean I’m solving more problems. And that in itself is a way how I validate myself. It’s like checking off boxes. More boxes checked means better I feel about myself. Unlearning that dialogue has been a journey. I stopped pursuing business for that very reason.
However, powerlessness is a hard one to grasp. It didnt come to light until I read your writing. Theres a sense of peace that comes to acknowledging the struggle and then asking what am I really doing this for.
I'm so glad it resonated with you brother. I completely understand how you feel.
The first thing I'm going to write about when I get to the Tools section of this guide is how to understand and act on what's in your control and release your emotional attachment to everything else.
That knowledge/skill has probably been the most impactful thing I've learned that's helping me navigate the loss of my daughter.
Thanks for commenting as always brother. It’s a great question and one I haven’t fully grappled with - at least in a way that’s given me a coherent answer.
On one hand, I think there’s great benefit from less doing and more being. And as I’ve practiced this with more intention, it’s clearly crucial to healing and making sense of the world we create for ourselves. At least it seems crucial to me. I see spending more and more time just being as I grow.
On the other hand, things need to be built. Can I “being” this book into existence? I think I have to build it, don’t I?
I am attached to creating it and to the impact I hope it creates. That attachment helps me get up early and write on a Sunday morning when I could stay in bed.
Of course, I realize there all kinds of things completely out of my control that could cause the book to never be finished or not to have the kind of impact I imagine. I fully accept that and if those things come to pass I’m not going to let it wreck my life.
I wonder, if you being mostly retired at this point gives you more freedom to just “be” rather than build. Could you have just “being’d” your way to a fulfilling, impactful career.
I fully realize that my way of framing this response might be great evidence of my lack of understanding of this concept!
I guess what I’m wondering is whether it’s a both/and rather than an either/or.
What do you think? I’m super interested in your opinion because I know I can learn a lot from you on this subject!
I was putting the question out because that’s what intuitively came to mind. My intuition is always wiser than my intellect because it’s organic and pure. So without thinking I sent it. My intuition has never steered me wrong when I trust it. Based on my experience I do believe that when my main focus is on being , whatever is meant to be will be. If something is meant to be built , my intuition will lead me to it. But that is just what feels pure to me. It’s not for everyone. The Don Miguel Ruiz Agreement philosophy hasbrought me to this place
In life.
These things are really hard to discuss in text format but happy to chat with you live some time if it feels right for you. It’s all just about conversation and sharing experiences.
I was just about to say the same thing - about this being the wrong format. How about I give you a call next weekend if you're around? I'd love to explore this with you! Saturday morning?
This was such an amazing article to read. Thank you for your vulnerability. I have a young family as well.
The formula: more motion = solutions rings so true in my life. It’s the response that shows up when I’m struggling. Doing more doesn’t always mean I’m solving more problems. And that in itself is a way how I validate myself. It’s like checking off boxes. More boxes checked means better I feel about myself. Unlearning that dialogue has been a journey. I stopped pursuing business for that very reason.
However, powerlessness is a hard one to grasp. It didnt come to light until I read your writing. Theres a sense of peace that comes to acknowledging the struggle and then asking what am I really doing this for.
I'm so glad it resonated with you brother. I completely understand how you feel.
The first thing I'm going to write about when I get to the Tools section of this guide is how to understand and act on what's in your control and release your emotional attachment to everything else.
That knowledge/skill has probably been the most impactful thing I've learned that's helping me navigate the loss of my daughter.
Thanks for reading my friend.
Thanks for another inspiring read. At the end you ask - What are you building? A life that matters? Or a prison where the grind owns you?
What if we weren’t focused on building anything? What if we focused on just being , without any attachment to building , or any outcome whatsoever ?
Thanks for commenting as always brother. It’s a great question and one I haven’t fully grappled with - at least in a way that’s given me a coherent answer.
On one hand, I think there’s great benefit from less doing and more being. And as I’ve practiced this with more intention, it’s clearly crucial to healing and making sense of the world we create for ourselves. At least it seems crucial to me. I see spending more and more time just being as I grow.
On the other hand, things need to be built. Can I “being” this book into existence? I think I have to build it, don’t I?
I am attached to creating it and to the impact I hope it creates. That attachment helps me get up early and write on a Sunday morning when I could stay in bed.
Of course, I realize there all kinds of things completely out of my control that could cause the book to never be finished or not to have the kind of impact I imagine. I fully accept that and if those things come to pass I’m not going to let it wreck my life.
I wonder, if you being mostly retired at this point gives you more freedom to just “be” rather than build. Could you have just “being’d” your way to a fulfilling, impactful career.
I fully realize that my way of framing this response might be great evidence of my lack of understanding of this concept!
I guess what I’m wondering is whether it’s a both/and rather than an either/or.
What do you think? I’m super interested in your opinion because I know I can learn a lot from you on this subject!
I was putting the question out because that’s what intuitively came to mind. My intuition is always wiser than my intellect because it’s organic and pure. So without thinking I sent it. My intuition has never steered me wrong when I trust it. Based on my experience I do believe that when my main focus is on being , whatever is meant to be will be. If something is meant to be built , my intuition will lead me to it. But that is just what feels pure to me. It’s not for everyone. The Don Miguel Ruiz Agreement philosophy hasbrought me to this place
In life.
These things are really hard to discuss in text format but happy to chat with you live some time if it feels right for you. It’s all just about conversation and sharing experiences.
I was just about to say the same thing - about this being the wrong format. How about I give you a call next weekend if you're around? I'd love to explore this with you! Saturday morning?
That sounds great!
You're welcome friend. What resonated about that with you?