I’m not grieving the death of a person right now. However, I am grieving the death of a dream due to lost love. I started crying when I read about the isolation lie. Because of the disapproval of some I have felt pretty isolated. And I am definitely grieving. A valuable lesson for me on showing up for people experiencing any kind of grief. I can just be a friend who listens and is there without having to fix, manage, or control. Thank you.
This is the best writing on grief for men I’ve ever come across. Jason nailed all seven of these lies. This is the “you’re not alone brother” piece to share with any man you know who’s lost a child. Required reading. Supremely helpful.
Thank you Christopher. I appreciate you reading and for sharing that it resonated with you. I let all the these lies dictate my life for a long time.
It's important to me to try to do something to help other men free themselves and get on with healing. For themselves, their families and the memories of the loved one(s) they've lost.
Writing about grief helps me in more ways than one. It helps keep me vigilant about making choices that are aligned wth my values by reminding me how easy it is to get sucked back into destructive ways of thinking.
And it helps me make meaning from the lives and deaths of my wife and daughter. Every word keeps me connected to them in a way that feels important to me.
Thanks for sharing so much! I have been able to revisit my widower journey through your honesty and vulnerability. So helpful! I do see how these lies have shown up at different times for me, especially at first. This time reading, I was struck by the Protector Lie and I how that got me, since I have kids to protect. It was only through Men's Group that I was able to open up and say and OWN, multiple times, “This is a lot harder for me than I’ve been letting on."
The guilt lie is powerful. I think part of it is that in the face of incomprehensible loss that I have no control over, the only thing I have left is my guilt over not being able to stop it. I think the feeling of powerlessness is a terrible thing, and it has to go somewhere. Sometimes it goes to guilt and metaphorical self flagellation. Other times, it goes to a soft, sad space of acceptance. Thank you for sharing this.
A refreshing, honest and inspiring piece, Jason! I've cycled repeatedly through each of these lies, and more, in the weeks, months and years since my dad died. The should-haves and what-ifs and multitude of misconceptions can feel overwhelming. But, as you said, we have the power to rewrite the narrative.
I’m not grieving the death of a person right now. However, I am grieving the death of a dream due to lost love. I started crying when I read about the isolation lie. Because of the disapproval of some I have felt pretty isolated. And I am definitely grieving. A valuable lesson for me on showing up for people experiencing any kind of grief. I can just be a friend who listens and is there without having to fix, manage, or control. Thank you.
Amen my friend. And grief is not just about someone dying. It's about any loss. I wish you peace and healing ♥️
This is the best writing on grief for men I’ve ever come across. Jason nailed all seven of these lies. This is the “you’re not alone brother” piece to share with any man you know who’s lost a child. Required reading. Supremely helpful.
Thank you Christopher. I appreciate you reading and for sharing that it resonated with you. I let all the these lies dictate my life for a long time.
It's important to me to try to do something to help other men free themselves and get on with healing. For themselves, their families and the memories of the loved one(s) they've lost.
Writing about grief helps me in more ways than one. It helps keep me vigilant about making choices that are aligned wth my values by reminding me how easy it is to get sucked back into destructive ways of thinking.
And it helps me make meaning from the lives and deaths of my wife and daughter. Every word keeps me connected to them in a way that feels important to me.
Thanks again brother.♥️
Great post Jason, every one of the 7 an important subject in its own right. 💪
Thank you Esther ♥️
Thanks for the clarity this article brings. The same lies influenced my formative years when I didn't realise guilt and shame shrouded my life.
You’re welcome brother. Thank you for reading ❤️👊
Very important ways to challenge the ideas that you think may be helping your grief but which are in fact making it worse. Well done!
Thank you! I appreciate you reading and your kind words!
This was truly profound. You heal so many by writing about these truths.
Thank you Stephanie. I'm trying my best and I appreciate your encouragement ♥️
beautiful share. Challenge the lie. Amen
Thanks for sharing so much! I have been able to revisit my widower journey through your honesty and vulnerability. So helpful! I do see how these lies have shown up at different times for me, especially at first. This time reading, I was struck by the Protector Lie and I how that got me, since I have kids to protect. It was only through Men's Group that I was able to open up and say and OWN, multiple times, “This is a lot harder for me than I’ve been letting on."
The guilt lie is powerful. I think part of it is that in the face of incomprehensible loss that I have no control over, the only thing I have left is my guilt over not being able to stop it. I think the feeling of powerlessness is a terrible thing, and it has to go somewhere. Sometimes it goes to guilt and metaphorical self flagellation. Other times, it goes to a soft, sad space of acceptance. Thank you for sharing this.
A refreshing, honest and inspiring piece, Jason! I've cycled repeatedly through each of these lies, and more, in the weeks, months and years since my dad died. The should-haves and what-ifs and multitude of misconceptions can feel overwhelming. But, as you said, we have the power to rewrite the narrative.
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much for this.